Art by Heather Mclean
As the yearly cycle draws to a close, people I work with have been reflecting on the year that has suspended most of our habitual ways of being. Their reflections have been surprising, inspiring and powerful, as they reveal a deeper narrative of silent growth. The dominant narratives in the public discourse have been focusing on the experiences of stuckness and stillness.
The words ‘lockdown’ and ‘quarantine’ have entered our daily vocabulary, casting a spell on our sense of the world around us. And while these words describe concretely what is occurring in the external world, the people I work with brought forth new narratives that acknowledge the ever-unfolding and ever-evolving movements of nature, that apply to our inner worlds. While life on the outside seems to have stood still, our internal worlds have kept on ticking. Perhaps even more so, as a reflexive balancing act towards the excruciating constrictions of the outside.
Up against the background of stillness, the movements of our inner worlds are more discernible than ever. Indeed, so much has happened in a year that so little has moved. Taken out of our routines and habits we have all had to sit with our fear, our frustration, our discomfort, our rage and most importantly we have had to sit with our selves. Our internal world has taken centerstage, urging us to deeply question our lives, values and choices.
Such disruptions break the mold and unleash a chaos that holds the imprints of a new potential emergent order. A chaos that supports new openings towards deep and meaningful transformation. In the shadows of Self, movement and connection have not ceased. In these conditions, many of us have come to realize what truly matters, what needs to live and what needs to die. The chaos of uncertainty and restrictions seems to have become fertile ground for people to find the resolve to meet and invite even further uncertainties in their lives. To break the mold a little bit more.
Decisions and movements that seemed monumental at the start of the year have started being a reality in motion for many by the end of the year. This year of collective fear, loss and grief, has challenged us to let go in unprecedented ways and degrees. As we have let our layers of habit fall through one by one, as we have stepped into the deep uncertain, as we have lost our ways of being in the world, as we have felt powerless to choose, we have arrived to our grief. We have had to grieve for our communities, our sense of connection, our freedom of movement, people we have lost.
Grief that is grieved becomes the fertile soil of regeneration. A new lease of life unfurls when we become intimate with the forces of death. The people I work with have made profound shifts this year. They have decided to face long avoided divorces, they have ended long standing affairs, they have moved houses, they have left their jobs or made career moves at a time where the public discourse insists on keeping us still. There is no stillness in the universe. There is no stillness in our soulful depths. The stillness we were plunged into on the outside was an incubating space where we were all hatching a different future to what we had sleepwalked into.
At the end of this year I feel deeply moved to witness people’s spirit and commitment to sitting with their discomfort and attending to the process of midwifing forth whatever is ready to emerge. I see a deepening resilience and a commitment to planting new seeds, pursuing meaningful and authentic ways of being, in service of greater growth. It seems that we have needed the outside world to stop so we can regain the space, time, energy, presence and inner resources required for listening to the voices within that tell us who we are meant to become. These opening to our emergent self are in service to the individual and to the wider collective whole we all belong to.
I invite you to take stock, as the year comes full circle to its close, to the seeds you may have intently or inadvertently sowed, deep in the soil of soul. We anticipate another year that will challenge us even further, but despite the external realities and narratives we must hold on to the narratives of our inner resources. All the seeds I have witnessed being sown this year, will be sprouting next year. Whatever challenges we may have to face ahead, next year is destined to be full of new growth, directions and emergent potential.
